How do I get my children to…do their homework?

In this post about ‘getting’ children to go their homework we are focusing on primary school age children predominantly.

Firstly there is a lot of debate around the need for homework, different schools take very different approaches and different professionals put different values on homework. Personally/Professionally as someone who spends a lot of time in schools, talking to teachers and parents I think homework should fall into two camps,

It is an opportunity to solidify learning that has happened in school and requires minimal input from a parent or nanny/caregiver.

Or

It is a deep dive into a topic, it can be presented in a variety of formats, there is a long holiday/half term/couple of weekends that it can be completed!

I will also state that not every child is ready for homework! School days are long and tiring and sometimes overwhelming and needing to come home post school/clubs/after schools to then have to do a page of writing/maths/reading comprehension is an exhaustive heartbreaking exercise filled with tantrums (parents and children!) with very little learning or solidifying going on! This is a fruitless task! If at the end of this post you feel like you have exhausted all of the strategies and your child is still consistently struggling/battling/fighting homework then it is time to talk to the teacher/school about whether they can cope and if there is an alternative/flexibility etc.

If you have a child who attends a school that gives regular homework then strategy one is establish a homework routine in your house.

Choose the day, time of day, for how long and where homework will be done.

Example: Homework is done for 30 minutes at the kitchen counter every Monday and Thursday immediately post school with snacks or homework is done every morning between 7.00am and 7.30am, after breakfast in the bedroom, then dressed and ready to go or homework is done at the cafe on Tuesdays and Thursdays while we wait for sibling to finish art.

It needs consistency and routine or habit!

You need a clear expectation:

Are you working on them doing their homework independently so will not scrutinise every mistake and make them redo it, are you working on them learning a skill and teaching while they work or maybe a little of both?

Time/end goal!

Be clear about how long you will persevere or how long they need to work for… you are done either when the page is completed or when 20 minutes is up!

You may need an incentive!

Some people will provide a reinforcer/incentive for homework completion. When discussed parents will either say - why should I give them prizes for doing the things they have to do or will say - well if I don’t bribe them then how do I get them to do the work!

This is very child dependent- if your child is motivated to succeed and wants to do the homework and do well and potentially can do it either independently or with minimal help then the task itself is reinforcing and getting praise at school, having a sense of achievement is their motivation! They have an intrinsic incentive or an intrinsic motivation.

If your child is younger (4-6 years old) or is not intrinsically motivated to do homework or struggles to focus they may need an extrinsic motivation to help to motivate them to do the things that are difficult for them. They may need a carrot to hook them in. Working for something tangible - a treat whether short term or long term may be needed.

If you choose this path you can make them aware of how good they are getting at something or how they are improving or how well they are doing to help to build the intrinsic motivation.

Make them accountable to their school/teacher/tutor.

The demand for homework comes from school/tutor/teacher, it is not your demand as a parent!

If a child struggles with homework then you must support them in sharing this with their teacher and working with them to find a solution.

if they refuse to complete it then they should tell their teacher it is not completed and explain why. (This is not a building of shame cycle but to be able to be accountable to others and to themselves)

As a parent you have so many demands to follow through on with children and you need them to feel accountable to others and to themselves and not be completing this work for you!

For all parents struggling with homework battles I really hope this helps and always feel you can reach out to us at clever tortoise for bespoke support